September 2015 Feature: Bringing up Boys

September 01, 2015 ∙ by Anonymous ∙ in This Month's Issue

Some leaders and members of the CROP program. Photograph by Hayne Photography

Bringing up Boys

Story by Tompaul Wheeler

As many as 24 million children in the United States live in a fatherless home.* Without present or involved dads, boys especially are less likely to graduate high school and more likely to use drugs, be incarcerated and commit suicide, and generally struggle to succeed. Who can offer these youth a more promising future? Positive, Christian, male role models—and the Columbia Union has some you should meet:

In Newport News, Va., everything’s coming up roses—that is, focused, educated and spiritual young men, students of the Calvary Rites of Passage Program (CROP).

CROP sprouted out of Allegheny East Conference’s Calvary church as a way for dedicated male members to show young men the path to a successful future. Trevor Kinlock, Calvary pastor, and James Hiers, an elder, developed the program in 2007, and these two and their five-member CROP committee educate and invest in teenagers, from offering informal communication to monthly meetings, field trips to historical sites, and even a biannual mission trip to Tanzania to assist at an orphanage.

Each year the CROP team mentors between 25 and 30 young men aged 11-19. Participants are drawn from Calvary and other nearby Seventh-day Adventist churches, and, increasingly, the broader community. Of the approximately 200 participants since the program’s inception, every one has graduated high school and many have gone on to college or other vocational programs. Many of them have also been baptized.

“Our name represents a young crop being watered and fertilized in Christ that grows into a strong tree,” says Hiers, CROP director. “We’re very active and we make Christ the center of our approach to young men. We realize there are a lot of young men in destitute situations, from single parent homes to adolescent problems, delinquency [and] academic problems. Several of them just don’t have that Christ-centered foundation. We wanted to organize something that would stand in the gap between them and Christ. Our goal is that they become a product of academic excellence, spiritual young men who witness to other young people and draw them into the faith.”

The CROP group meets monthly on Sunday afternoons to tackle issues. “We make a yearly agenda and come together and discuss a topic, from conflict resolution to sexuality to gentleman etiquette,” adds Hiers. “We do Bible studies as well, in a relaxed setting. We have the boys go to the home of one of the men in the church and do an in-depth study and share views.”

CROP leaders work to ensure that participants’ thoughts and concerns are heard as well. “Rather than someone standing up and facilitating, we let them kind of own the program. It’s self-directed,” Hiers explains. “I’m 46, so for me to suggest what a 17-year-old needs, it may be very distant from what they really need.”

They also bring in community professionals, like a representative from the local police gang unit. “We give [the professionals] the opportunity to share with us and hear their views,” says Hiers.

Travel is another important part of the CROP program. Leaders have taken the boys to the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C., the Martin Luther King Center in Atlanta, college visits from New York to Alabama, as well as professional football and basketball games, even amusement and water parks.

“Some of our youth have never left the area, never left Newport News, and now they’re spending the night in Times Square and visiting historical [sites] like the Empire State Building,” says Hiers. “We just hope to form some mindsets to think more appropriately, [cultivating] more Spirit-driven, more purpose-driven lives.”

Read and share these stories from the September 2015 Visitor:

Photograph by Hayne Photography

From Boys to Men

“I was one of the first to join the program,” remembers CROP graduate Curtis Herbert, now 21. “They wanted something that would teach young men, especially black men in our community, what it means to be a man—things like how to treat women with respect, how to manage your finances, the importance of education. We had a lot of in-depth discussions about education and we were able to ask questions about things like how to deal with young ladies and better ways to handle relationships.”

Herbert adds, “One of my favorite parts was the accountability. You could talk about things that maybe you couldn’t with your parents, and you wouldn’t be judged for it. You were able to get a lot of real answers, and a lot of the leadership staff would share their own personal stories with us. So, it was a lot more of a bonding experience.”

Herbert looks back fondly on his CROP trip to the “Big Apple,” particularly the New York Stock Exchange. He says the group prepared for the trip by discussing finances for several months. “We got to go on the floor there and talk to some of the brokers, and see where a lot of the money was handled and flowed through for our country,” he recalls. “Some of the people there talked to us about managing money. And, even though it was educational, they still made time for us to see [New York City] and have some fun too.”

A social work major in college now, Herbert credits CROP for helping him mature in his thinking, knowledge and faith. “We had talks about drugs and sex and what certain diseases are and what they look like, and what they do to you. They were very candid. No matter how serious the topic, they never tried to get us do things or change out of fear,” he says. “A lot of people I know think the church just tries to use scare tactics to get people to change or make better decisions, but they never approached the subjects that way.”

Herbert says the CROP leaders see a need for this type of program in many more churches. “Several of our guys don’t necessarily have fathers or their dads aren’t consistent in their lives. Or, even if they are, some of this information you don’t necessarily get out of a conversation with your parents. They may not know how to go about it,” he explains. “I think our church wants us to grow up and be a lot wiser in our decisions, and come closer to Christ and each other. One of the biggest goals they had was to create a sense of brotherhood, with each other and with them as well. They wanted us to support each other. As men, we’re not always forthcoming with our struggles, and they wanted us to talk to each other and just lift each other up.”

Photograph by Hayne Photograph

Passing it On

Herbert also credits CROP for fostering a desire to give back, and he now volunteers for the program. He’s shared his experiences in higher education with the younger participants and loves seeing a new batch of kids develop and mature, like 15-year-old Carrington Black.

Black has been a part of CROP since he was 12. “It helps us prepare for life,” Black says, referring to the professionals who visit and do presentations on life issues. “I can apply everything I’ve learned to my daily life and continue to trust in God. I’ll remember everything I was taught and it’ll help bring me through.”

Black especially enjoyed traveling to New York City. “We saw a whole bunch of businesses there, and I didn’t know they have a really old train museum about transportation,” he says. “I want to be an engineer, and I’ve been surprised that there are a lot of opportunities out there that we can take.”

While the Calvary church solely funds the CROP program, it has received Columbia Union Homeland Missions funds for the past two years. And now, city officials have taken note and are trying to find ways to provide financial support, says Pastor Kinlock. “Our local city councilwoman has her children in our program because she learned about it and has seen benefit for her boys,” he adds.

Everything CROP does is built around its motto taken from Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” But, when young men enter the program, they’re also required to learn the group’s pledge: “I am a man of integrity. I will rise to every challenge. With God on my side, I have no limitations. I will respect my past and embrace my future. I will acquire knowledge and value my education. My family is my priority. I will serve my community. I will submit to God’s authority. I am God’s man, a new crop for a new generation. I am the best that this world has to offer, so look out for me. I am a man of integrity.”

Tompaul Wheeler writes from Nashville, Tenn.

*U.S. Census Bureau

Feature photo: Hayne Photography photographed Carrington Black and James Hiers

Read and share these stories from the September 2015 Visitor:

September 2015 Feature: Bringing up Boys

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